feel upset..feel bogged by many things..projects are on mind , sap is on my mind.he is on my mind.
stupid ..but he's affecting my mood very badly.i dun like the way i am thinking about him..like a weakling..but i can't concentrate on my stuffs badly..
not enuff sleep ..argh!
i duuno whether its that i am geetin on pple's nerves or pple are gettin on to mine..can't seem to get anything right these days...
argh...dun wana whine but can't he juz give me a clear sign!!!or maybe he did , but i chose to ignore it..tried to let go..but , its like ..kinda...the feeling of loss..duuno u guys have felt it before.i tried to hide behind the laughter , the smiles, but my heart is really breaking into pieces:(
we used to meet at lunch breaks , then lunch and at home..calls to chit chat..but not any more..for almost a month le..n i am like an idiot looking at the phone n wishin n wishin that there is a messge or call from him.
used to scroll thru the phone to see his name on top of received calls , missed calls , dialled numbers..now..not aniwhere in sight..
duuno if its bcoz he came to know that i like him le..coz i put his name as number as my password...n prob he saw it..or he juz knew or wad ever...
duuno wat;s so attractive about him?guess maybe gals have fallen for him 2..maybe like sysvester ah him..hiaz..he;s nt a good person i know..at least as a future husband , dad or wadever ..he isn;t the ideal person ..but ..as said by many , love is blind..or maybe mine is only like ..smthin that i a few months time or years , u look back n laugh at how we moan n moan and lose sleep over smthin so unimportant
yeah ,lettin go is so difficult , every show , evry song reminds me of him ...ATTA!!!
ok , it felt better lettin all out...gosh , i stil have to face him tomorrow...
haha..I sure can make it!!better concentrate on studies!!!

skimmed thru my cousin's blog.realized that in the world , there are actually pple in the same situation as u or perharps even worse.
i have been harping on my bad life , why is it that i dun have friends/time/good job/good brains/good looks..so the list goes on..(not in the order )
i hate myself for feeling this way but i can;t help it..why is it that pple;s life seem much more perfect?
perhaps it isn't true...i am juz so very uptight that i am not giving my love ones and myself a chance.i live in a reclusive worle wz onli a selfish me inside.its dark , its scary , its lonely .that is why i yearn for a shoulder to lean on ..i thought i found him , but perhaps he aint meant to be .
feel like having a good cry ...a veri veri good sob to wake me up
i duuno my life direction , i duno wat i want ...
sobs...
GamBatte Ne!
please someone help me walk out of this bleak thinking i need help help help...

oh yeah , maybe i am catching it!!
this is what i took last friday?? we went to suntec for their steamboat.cost about 20bucks per head and the food is yummylicious!
well , it depends on who you are eating with as well , we had a great time ...
hey , maybe we could have a christmas outting yeah?take all the pics :)

have been slacking since last week , with deepavali and Hari Raya within the same month.Could have used this opportunity to travel :) but i find it better to slack about @ home.
Have watched a couple of DVDs and VCDs as well..muahah..as well as complete (if u consider that completed) some parts of the project ...
ok , then i did my song list , reshuffle my links into nice nice folders and whaaha...now is the time to pack my desk !
ok , maybe goin to buy a photo album i presume gona take a lot more by the way :)
life has been boring thou...went karaoke on sat n i absolutely SuCK!!i hate my voice sounding so manly..maybe should go for sugery(surgery ba , sorry for error) one fine day ...hiak hiak hiak ...
then met up wing's fren ...he's kinda cute ..match her ! i think they look great together !we went around bugis , suntec n orchard that day , it was fun thou there were many silent moments as well ...lets wish the best for them


took this pucture juz now...i like this brand of biscuit.its for babies/infants/toddlers???
cute , reminds me of the past .dun think i had that as a kid thou..my bro pehaps?
the day is almost ending ...bleah...tomorrow;s another work day again..it sucks ...
hey , but its better than being unemployed huh...

am too exhausted but can;t help to come online..even thou i have problem logging in to the internet..
read thru some blogs ..wahah..seems like everyone's preparing for examz..mine is until christmas week ...duuno whether it's considered good or bad ..
hey btw i am not attached in aniwei ok..we haven been on the phone for 1 week ..wahaha..and stupid me keep looking at my phone for missed calls from him..how stupid..i know this would not last n it finally happened..i know i am being someone whom i absolutely hate..acting like some love sick idiot but haha..i did it..
better concentrate more on my studies , it;'s costing me shit..thou i am not the one paying ..hope to make my mark one day ..coz i know i am not very fast in the brains dept (mainly IQ n EQ i am a goner...)or any to speak of ..haha..
oh yeah , i actually felt sick..all thanks to the food i have had last week ...gastric n fever which cost me 39bucks..whew...
i need change ..i need change ..i need change...
i need sleep for now thou..haha..N Karaoke!
pissed mahz..

initially wanted to try to put potos..but i think it sucks..so sorry guys , have to wait again...until i figure out how to use this bloody thing.
nowadays seemsto use a lot of that "bloody ' word...opposie.. :P
yeah , had a busy week , only went home once for dinner on monday...tuesday and wednesday went for lessons which totally zapped me of my energy..i am happie thou coz my i passed my test..n i didn't flunk my project after all :)
thursday went out with cathay colleaugues to sakae sushi...we had 11 red plates!!totalling the bill to 100plus...then off to nydc for mudpies!!!
yummy..got pics but gotta wait :)
Friday went to suntec's steamboat...the beef is so yummy but a lot of them couldn't take so i onli had a plate 2... it was fun ...big group probably that y..had a cocktail after that ..forgot the name but had slight alcohol onli so lucky didn;t turn lobster ..
spent quite a lot on thur on fri but it was definetely fun!
Xinyi, when u come back we tour singapore ok?it muz be tough studying for exams but Jia you we waitin for ya to come back ;)
i got a lot of things to say but can;t put everything here so...
until we meet again !!!