mia lady is back..haha..been so tired these few days..

okie..emm..where should i start?ok..what i rmember is that i had a fun birthday..got the photos developed and now safely in the album my dear frens bought me.
started first day of work on 17may..hmm..now into the second week..so far so good..at least there is the company of a grp of SAP/contract officers also..so ok..at least can click a little.

these few nites so tired..coz have been goin out.today went shopping with mummy..so scary..the bill came up to sgd340!!!
he..i bought 2 bras , 4 undies , a pair of levis jeans and a morgan bag!veri vei scary..but never mind..take it that i am giving myself a very big birthday present tis year..
okie.and my plans for the taipei trip is also so far goin ok..hopefully can make a trip there sucessfully..
emm..what else..
oh ya...yesterday nite had a very scary experience..maybe was 2 tired..may what i dun know..dunno if i have told u guys that i kinda have the heaviness on my body when i sleep...like someone's lying on top of u , that kinda feeling??i had it again last night and it was scary coz i couldn't even turn or make any sound out plus my head was trobbing badly..like the kind of contractions where your head go big and small,,ewww.that was scary but i still hope to believe that it was the result of tiredness and not the you-know-what.
oh ya..wing is so veri lucki..she won tickets to BKK..can u believe it!maybe GOD is rewarding her for her hard work..hope she brings me there..haah..or at least tag along..ok think better quit dreaming..still got work tomorrow..sianz..lucky its a friday!
yeah!

went for first day of job today..hiaz..almost cried out along the journey as i thought of my days in cathay..what i would be doin at that time if i didn't leave..sobz..even my AM sent an sms to wish me luck...so touched !
the new compamy was ok..but job was kinda boring since its the finance dept..the figures and stuffs.
had my own desk and they say later will have emails and stuffs..hehe..still adjusting to the new life..hopefully can lah!
have been also thinking whether to take full time studies or would part time be better?
moast peeps i spoke to seem to find learnin fashion as a shock..but i think i want to peserve in this ..hopefully can really really own a shop in the future.
with regards to the rose guy..hmmm...dunno leh..juz maybe dun think about it liao..if nt can't sleep at night..stupid idiot!aint is obvious enuff??
ok..maybe he juz isn't interested..what can i say?
keke..
in 55 min time will be my 21 bday!!yeah..finally adult liao!!!

aniwei... enuff of the sad stuffs..
photos for the birthday..will update later..now no mood already..
juz wana say ..i really treasure all the gifts and love u guys gave me...
i must confess..i really got the 11 roses..but i dun know what he's thinking.should i tell him?should i not?
if i do say..i will really risk my 11 years of frenship..if i dun..i will forever be thinking and thinking..
i dun wana go thru days of guessing and waitin and wondering..its painful..
haha..

had a great day yesterday..
in the morning was actually feeling kinda down coz a lot has been happening and my mind has been in a whirlwheel? since i dun noe when..
didn't put my heart in the preparation of the birthday dinner..so for all of you guys who attended..my apologies for being such a bad host :(
thank you all for being so nice to me..sometimes when things go bad..i would wallow in self pity ..but i know there are really pple out there holding me..supporting me..may thanks..am really glad that on the crossroads of life..we met ..
Perhaps Life dun always go the way we want and that's what GOD prepares for us.
That's how we learn how to fall and stand up again.
A very close fren of mine had someting bad happening to her..i really wish sometimes i could do something for her...Pray God you will bless her and keep her up and goin again ..
We talked most of the time in the pool since it was so crowded today..hiaz..i really dunno how to comfort her..
Dear frens..please be happy ok?God has a purpose for us..i believe..even thou it might seems that GOD isn't listening at all..he is there..really..and he is around you 24/7..
We dun even have to look or listen hard..
Dear GOd..i really pray that you will bless her..she dun deserve to go thru this..

hi guys..sorry if i made u guys unhappy with my thoughts in the blog..juz felt like lashing everything out coz i feel so 'compressed' and ready to burst.
Jobs not goin well..maybe that's the reason..coz heard a negative comment today but i feel that i really can't help it.
alright..the person says i like to 'saw' in my work..which is like doing things very slowly.
ok , i admit..but iwas kinda hurt by that comment coz i really look up to her.well , never mind..i duuno what to say..
ok..that is the only not so well thingy.
really appreciate wing's company and help for everything.thanks for letting me see things 2..
all u guys are so dear ..that sometimes i also dun noe what to say..hia..thanks again!
really appreciate all the friendship we guys share :)

It's a long long journey till i know where i'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey and I don't know if i can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes i am lost and know that i must hide
It's a long long journey till i find my way home to you
Many days i've spent Drifting on throught empty shores
wondering what's my purpose wondering how to make me strong
i know i will falter i know i will cry i know you'll be standing by my side
it's a long long journey and i need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
i don't even know why i do the things i do
When pride builds me up till i can't see my soul
Will you break down this wall and pull me through?
Coz it's a long long Journey
Till i feel that i am worth the price
you paid for me on calvary beneath those stormy skies
when satan mocks and friends turn to foes it feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Coz it's a long long journey till i find my way home to you..to you.


It's a beautiful song sang by angela..from the show i forgot the title..
very beautiful...

by the way..i am goin crazy organizing the birthday party..no motivation...argh!guess what..i am suposed to surf net for stufss for the party but here i am ranting..haha..tata..

finished a show bout half an hour ago..100%senorita..i think sindy might know what i am talking about.This a great show..like it very much that i went out to buy after rushing the part one.
One thing very beautiful about that show is about love.I used to be very suspicious ..wondering what true love is ..up to now i still dun know and nither have experience it but i believe it is a very wonderful undescirbable feeling(forgive my atrocious spelling)coz everything is coming to mind now.
In the show , they love each other despite all the difficulties , misunderstandings.ok..a show is a show right..nah..it really reflects life..so i'm goin to say if i ever have children..i would encourage them to watch all the shows on tv..then would they understand life and know the diversity of what life and love means.
i can't hide my wants and need to have some1 by my side..it is so tortourous to have no one to share your thoughts , to have no one knowing what you want.
why is it that some pple can have the person right by their side and not treasure them while pple like us are living life like zombies.
Yesterday had a talk with my cousin on the way to a wedding celebration and i realized that we have both been in and out of love.
The pple we have once been are people we do not love stay together coz of peer presure?i dun noe but i realize what i previously might not be love after all..coz it doesn' t hurt..at least not as much as u expect them to be.
what is hurting is as the show say..i am right in front of u but u dun knoe that i love you and also you know that i love you but you can't love me..
haha..sounds like an old ahma talking..hehe..coz i really i really am getting older..more responsibilities..more things to think of other than play.
Hiaz..the people we like ..we are so near yet so far...
ok peeps..here's a revelation..something would risk losing but i dun care anymore..coz once i say it out ..it would not become true anymore.
i asked a few of you guys what does 11roses means right?from the answers i gather..it comes as something positive..haha..great..but i really dun noe what he is thinking.i really like him..but it will ruin the friendship we take so many yyears to build up..hiaz..and i think i really like him coz it really hurts when i hear him say he likes some1 else.is that love?
so confused..so sad ..so disappointed.and the more i think of him mixig with some other gals..i get worried..shit..it is costing me my life..thinking of sucj stuffs.
i really hope my dear frens do live happily ever after ..but i am also afraid of growing old alone.
haha..so stressed ah..
new job..new thinking..new everything..gotta face the world..the world so beautiful yet so hostile..
hating myself again...

hiatus..am back!
wow..seems like i'm missing a lot in here..havin been blogging or even switching on the computer.
wana apologize to xinyi..coz everytime u sms me..i never reply and i dun even try to go online.. :( to talk to ya..
to all my other friends..esp ash and jo..though we are in singapore..we never seem to meet up..
sorry i have been feeling distant after school ..or even after secondary school..
i am really feeling lost inside and tryin to find myself ..that feeling i duuno how to describe.
living life as it comes along everyday..no goals no aims..although it seems that i may be living a busy life but its all crap.
aha..what am i saying???
sorry for all the things..all whatever i should have done but did not do..all the things i did but shouldn't be done..

everyone's leading a full life..i hope that continues..dun be so whiny like me ok?