It has been a week..wow , time certainly passed by quite quickly.
I am back to school again and well , at least lessons are much more interesting ..but with interesting comes challenging..haha..hope I can pull it through.

For the whole week , i have been thinking and thinking.feels like i can't see my future , i don;t know where i am heading to..Its a scary thought..because a person without a goal is like a ship without direction.As much as i want to face it , the road ahead is daunting and i feel like stopping in my tracks and run back.But a thought is juz a thought , we can never turn back time..what's done have been done and what's ahead is a challege to go through.
Sometimes , i will sit and wonder..'what if my life was like this , what if my life was like that'..yeah , if things were to go smoothly like tat , there wouldn;t be the word "Regret"
I would be lying if i say i don't regret any past things i have done...How i wish i could start all over again..Would I commit the same mistakes?Or Would i Behave the way i woould want myself to be.

Suddenly , I find myself all alone.Things to pick up , decisions to make.Its a tough choice , i realli realli realli wana throw in the towel and stop but i can't ...i can't..
There is no turning back for what we have lost...

Lost is how i describe my feelings now.My mom always says why do i make myself stay up so late making myself so lartegic and listless...i want to tell her that that's the only way to make myself sleep at night..if not , my brain will have all the battle and its noisy and i can't sleep...maybe i think too much...
Have anyone watched 'ZHan Shen'?i feel like "Sheng" now...knowing the problem but not wanting to acknowledge it.I hope I dun choose the path he did thou...coz i dun wana die..

Its so scary when i look at my past posts , it has like evolved from happy thoughts and experiences to talking about depressing stuffs...I really need to clear my head..

On a lighter note , i am glad for some happenings.Yeah , i know sometimes its like nuthin to others but it is a memory i keep forever.
I am not sure whether 'Aidan' is the one...but i know that he is gona be special to me always.I like it when he calls and then ask"what are you doing?" then both of us just stops talking.
I like it when he stands next to me and we are practically knocking into each other shoulders.oww...
And i like the way he ask where i am going , with who etc..(even if juz for fun on his part)

I get sad when i see him talk about how he kiss some gals at a pub , how he touch some other gals...

yeah , But the future is unknown..Do not chide me or judge me now ok ?I just want to enjoy this awhile more...but please do wake me when i get too crazy over him..

The thought of him is my life buoy ..for now...

*Dear GOD ,
I thank you for the life you have given me.The roads may be rocky and uneven , but I know that you will be there , right behind me catching me when i fall.
Lord , i thank you for that and God i also pray that you will bless the people around me , make them all happy and healthy.
Forgive me of all my sins.Amen*

Needs-help-but-declines-help Dilly

HI peeps...

Goord morningz...look @ the time now ..its 0523 as i am typing now...hope i can manage to finish the dvd i intend to watch later..

For the record , this is my latest partying time..whaha...5am...i can;t believe it.

Had a not so good start to the day..but lucky it ended quite well...

initially was almost played out by viv , not realli play out thou...we met up but she suddenly say she dun feel like goin all of a sudden...wow...that hit me ..its like i had some bad experiences of being played out recently...and now she is doin it to me?

yeah ,i sulked..can't help it..then think she sensed it n eventually went with me..hehe...
Lucky for us , we got free invites into Zouk.had a friend doin backstage stuffs..so considered lucki eh(damm paiseh thou...have to ask her still got free invites nt)But i can;t help it...the entrance fee is a bloody 22 bucks...i wun wan to spend that kind of money on a place i wun enjoy.

Did i mention the purpose of the trip is to see a fashion show?Thou shall not elaborate further.

Zouk wasnt fun...not my cup of tea...The deco nice thou..
then we went to liquid bar to meet my fren's bf & his fren..'danced' for an hour and off we went for movies!

Watched 'SWING GALs'...funni and cute..hehe..juz like waterboy..music is whahaa...i like !

Had a lot of firstS today..first time back at 5 , first time club w/o payin ( :P ),first time watch a 2am show , first time at zouk & first time a@ Liquid Bar,first time drinking more than a glass n realli feeling a bit of headache...

feel so sleepy le....

nitz *0* ~